Saturday 17 April 2010

Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty

Once upon a time there were three girls, Lillian, Sharon and Rochelle. They decided to go out for dinner, a girl's night. They all excitedly jumped into the car and drove off to the local town of Oldport. When they arrived at the restaurant, Pazza Hat, they asked for a table near the back of the restaurant so as not to be too near the door, it was a chilly evening. But while being shown to the back they noticed that the fire escape doors had been propped open, oh well, lucky we brought jumpers.

They were seated and offered drinks, Lillian wanted a Funta Orangey drink, but they only had Tingo, that's okay, she said, I'll have a Tingo Appely. Unfortunately for Lillian they don't have that either. Fine, so they all had 6up instead.

The three girls ordered their food, starting with bread crumb encrusted cheese circles, and for the main; three pazzas with various toppings. With the order placed the three girls sat back, sipped their drinks and chatted.

Time passed and the youngest of the three, Rochelle, started to complain of stomach ache. When Lillian asked what the matter was Rochelle said she thought she was just really hungry. Looking around Lillian noticed that all the other people had already received their orders and some were finishing off. Lillian began to think about how long they had actually been sitting there; the drinks are bottomless, and she had already had two and been to the toilet once. Sharon was on her third drink and had been to the toilet once as well. How long had they actually been sitting there?

It was at this precise moment that the waitress arrived with a slip in her hand. She apologetically explained that the food was only now in the oven and since they had been waiting for over an hour she had given them half price. Is that okay? She asked. Lillian said that it would help, but could they get some salad or something in the mean time as the younger two in the group were starting to look a little pale.

After ravenously eating the salad they were given, they still waited another 20 min before the pazzas arrived. By that point all three were good and hungry. But wait, where was the starter? And didn't Lillian ask for mushrooms on her pazza? She asked the guy who brought the order where the mushrooms were, he apologized and said he could take the pazza away and make another one free of charge. Lillian protectively grabbed the precious food and said she couldn't wait any longer, she would just eat what she had. The man said he would make another one for her free of charge with mushrooms on it this time.

While gratefully eating the food, the manager arrived to chat with them about the long wait. He pulled up a chair sat down and said: "I hear that you had to wait a long time for your food, but that you have been given half price on your bill, is that okay with you?" Lillian then politely informed him that their starter had not arrived and her pazza did not have any mushrooms on it. The manager looked horrified and then said: "Just kill me now!" Then he smiled and told us that the whole meal was on the house, just walk out when you are done here. Before he left Lillian asked if they should pay for desert as they were planning on having frozen creamy milk from the frozen creamy milk factory. That's on the house too they were told.

Great, so the girl's night out was on the house, life does have it's little compensations. After the meal was finished the three girls went with their bowls to the frozen creamy milk machine. Rochelle wanted to pull the lever first to fill her bowl. And nothing came out! The three girls looked at each other and began to laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Lillian called a waitress over and asked what was wrong with the machine. It had just been refilled and would take a few minutes before it was ready. So the three girls went and sat down again.

After a few minutes they decided to have another go, the frozen creamy milk was in fact not frozen, so they all had cold creamy milk that was partially runny instead.

I am glad to inform you that when they left the restaurant that the bad luck did not follow them. They got home safely and lived to tell the tale. It was still a good night out, oh and by the way, when Lillian asked about the extra pazza before leaving, they had not made it for her! This particular family won't be eating at that restaurant again. But there are many more in Oldport that they can explore and hopefully have better experiences at.


1 comment:

Jen said...

Oh dear, what a total comedy of errors!! I'm glad you could laugh about it anyway.